Yes, It's True...

I am a mom. 

I had hoped and dreamed of the day that I would get to say (type) those words. After 7 years of waiting for God to bless us with a child and 20 months of being an approved, waiting, adoptive mother - my dream has come true.  That feels like an understatement. God totally blew us out of the water with the amazing orchestration of our lives meeting up with our son's life. 

A couple Christmases ago a friend had given me this plaque. I hung it on our nursery door as a reminder that God is able to do so much more than we could ever think to dream. This Christmas, God gave us the gift of knowing that we would certainly be parents. We had the joy of meeting with our son's birthmother the week of Christmas.  She was so great to talk to and we felt so comfortable with her. We shared funny stories and just got to know each other a little bit - such a wonderful memory for us and one that we will be happy to share with our little guy as he grows up.

It was late at night on a Thursday when we got the call - our son was on his way - his birthmother was in labor.  Even with all of our careful planning and lists, it took us a half hour to get out the door and drive an hour to the hospital.

Catching a few long blinks while waiting.

After a long night of waiting and worrying and hoping and praying, our son Micah Benjamin was born at 6:32 the next morning! We were ecstatic! By 6:45 a.m. we were taken back to the nursery to see our son for the first time. Up until then, I had envisioned myself weeping at the sight but as we walked up to his bassinet, there was nothing but extreme joy and excitement in my heart - all I could do was SMILE. He was just the most precious thing in the world! The nurses were still doing their work, so we just talked to him and got to hold his hands as he showed off his exceptional lung capacity.

That day felt like an amazing dream and it only got better as time went on.  Since I wasn't recovering from delivery, I had the joy of giving Micah his first bath, Jeremy helped the nurse capture Micah's footprints and we both got to comfort him after the unpleasant experience of getting his heel pricked a few times. The hospital stay was another gift from God. We actually got to stay in our own room in the hospital AND Micah roomed-in with us! Such a gift that we could only wish and dream about before.  Those two days felt nice and long - we got to get to know our little baby boy while surrounded with such an awesome nursing staff, such a luxury.

Then it was time to leave. We were so excited and yet of course scared to leave the security of the hospital. The drive home felt so surreal, it was an hour drive that seemed to hurry past and then, we were home: Daddy, Mommy and Micah, the family that God created long before any of us were born.

The past six weeks have been such an amazing gift from God. We are parents, complete with the sheer joy of seeing your baby smile (even if it isn't at us yet) or happily kick his legs off in the bath or when the doctor says, "he's a very healthy baby," the sheer exhaustion of multiple wake-ups in the middle of the night,  the frustration when he wakes up as we put him down, the deep satisfaction when he calms down as we pick him up.

We have been standing here watching God take care of every detail that we were worried about as well as new details that came up along the way. We have seen him give us way more than we ever thought possible. We know that as Micah grows up and we grow as parents our God will continue to orchestrate our lives to bring about all the glory due His awesome name.

We praise God for His awesome love for us! For being faithful in all His promises!

He gives childless couples a family, gives them joy as the parents of children. 

Hallelujah!

Psalm 113:9

Journal? What Journal?

There has been a lot going on this past month. So much that I haven't had the time or the mental capacity to sit and write a journal entry.  They only reason I'm doing it now is because I already know that it will be short and sweet and that I'll fill in some details at a later date.

So, here's what's been going on in my life this past month:

12/19: We received "the call" and were told that our adoption profile had been selected by a birthmother for her baby to be born mid-January.

12/21: We had our "match meeting" with the birthmother and had a wonderful time. We were able to laugh and share stories and felt like we really connected with her (as much as is possible in a 2 hour meeting).

1/14/11: Our son, Micah Benjamin Verrillo was born at 6:32am. The Lord blessed us with the ability to be with him from 10 minutes after he was born, only leaving our side for about 2.5 hours in total so far. What an answer to prayer! He is just the cutest little baby and it is such a joy for us! 

That's all for now, I promise to write more later. For now though, I feel kind of like a funnel - there's so much emotion, thoughts, etc on one end and only a few are making it to the surface for now. 

God Bless! Hope to be back soon!

Imperfection At It's Best

Sometimes I get into the habit of thinking that I've got it all together - I think, "I got this." Lately, however, I've been coming face to face with my absolute humanity. There is a reason there is a Proverb that says, "First pride, then crash - the bigger the ego, the harder the fall." I'm usually a pretty crafty person and enjoy doing lots of creative things but recently it seems as though everything I put together falls apart pretty quickly or just doesn't come together the way I thought/hoped it would.  When this happens a lot, I tend to start feeling like a failure and not even want to try anything. Of course, this Christmas I have a few crafty projects on my to-do list and have been a little apprehensive about starting them for fear of failure. And it's not just the crafting stuff that I've been feeling like a failure about, there are other areas in my life that have had the light of God's correction on them and I've just been so, hmmmm...embarrassed, frustrated, annoyed with myself, etcetera, etcetera...about them. So this morning I took some time and prayed about it all. As I was praying a list began forming in my mind...

I am not perfect, the list:

• I focus on myself when I should focus on others
• I spend when I should save
• I save when I should give
• I yell when I should keep my mouth shut
• I keep my mouth shut when I should speak up
• I am not offended when there is an offense against God's Kingdom
• I am quick to be offended when my pride is injured
• I have my feet up relaxing when my hand should be to the plow
• My hand is to the plow when I should be resting
• I am not happy with what God has generously given and all too often only notice the blessing when it's gone
• I give up when I should press on
• I press the issue when I should relent

On and on the list can go. As my "imperfection list"began getting longer and longer and as I quickly spouted one thing off after another, a section from Paul's letter to the Romans came to my mind, 

"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me." (ESV)

You would think that my list of imperfections would keep me down in the dumps and my head down in frustration and guilt. But just as I began feeling like there is no hope and I'll never have what it takes, I remembered, "DUH, that's exactly how I'm supposed to feel in light of Jesus' perfection."

The light began to peak through the darkness that I was feeling in my heart and I began to realize that God has been showing me just how much I need Him. The list of my imperfections is so long and all too true. But does that mean that I am doomed to failure for my entire life? Nope. Because once this life on earth is done my new life will begin and never end. The life of righteousness that is promised to all those who trust in Christ and him alone for salvation.