Imperfection At It's Best

Sometimes I get into the habit of thinking that I've got it all together - I think, "I got this." Lately, however, I've been coming face to face with my absolute humanity. There is a reason there is a Proverb that says, "First pride, then crash - the bigger the ego, the harder the fall." I'm usually a pretty crafty person and enjoy doing lots of creative things but recently it seems as though everything I put together falls apart pretty quickly or just doesn't come together the way I thought/hoped it would.  When this happens a lot, I tend to start feeling like a failure and not even want to try anything. Of course, this Christmas I have a few crafty projects on my to-do list and have been a little apprehensive about starting them for fear of failure. And it's not just the crafting stuff that I've been feeling like a failure about, there are other areas in my life that have had the light of God's correction on them and I've just been so, hmmmm...embarrassed, frustrated, annoyed with myself, etcetera, etcetera...about them. So this morning I took some time and prayed about it all. As I was praying a list began forming in my mind...

I am not perfect, the list:

• I focus on myself when I should focus on others
• I spend when I should save
• I save when I should give
• I yell when I should keep my mouth shut
• I keep my mouth shut when I should speak up
• I am not offended when there is an offense against God's Kingdom
• I am quick to be offended when my pride is injured
• I have my feet up relaxing when my hand should be to the plow
• My hand is to the plow when I should be resting
• I am not happy with what God has generously given and all too often only notice the blessing when it's gone
• I give up when I should press on
• I press the issue when I should relent

On and on the list can go. As my "imperfection list"began getting longer and longer and as I quickly spouted one thing off after another, a section from Paul's letter to the Romans came to my mind, 

"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me." (ESV)

You would think that my list of imperfections would keep me down in the dumps and my head down in frustration and guilt. But just as I began feeling like there is no hope and I'll never have what it takes, I remembered, "DUH, that's exactly how I'm supposed to feel in light of Jesus' perfection."

The light began to peak through the darkness that I was feeling in my heart and I began to realize that God has been showing me just how much I need Him. The list of my imperfections is so long and all too true. But does that mean that I am doomed to failure for my entire life? Nope. Because once this life on earth is done my new life will begin and never end. The life of righteousness that is promised to all those who trust in Christ and him alone for salvation.